Some days I just feel the loneliness take over. Life is a tiring experience, especially without a partner by your side to support you. Humans are meant to be social creatures and aren’t supposed to spend large amounts of time alone. I usually make the best out of my independence and embrace the freedom. Though some days my heart and soul just call it quits with being strong. I have always been one who thrives the most with someone by my side. Recently it feels like the universe is just throwing failed relationship opportunities in my face just to mock me or punish me. Maybe its punishment for a past life. I may never know. I just crave the feeling of someone loving me the way I am. My many flaws and all.
I was scrolling through Facebook and I found a video that really struck home to me.
First, watch the video, but he got everything right about millennial love. We crave this love an affection that only a serious relationship can bring us, but yet we flee from anything that has the smallest resemblance to commitment. Our generation doesn’t see that working for a relationship that may be challenging could be the most rewarding thing we have ever done. We want to have that person there that supports us and makes us happy without being “stuck” with them. We are constantly looking for the better model. But the sad thing is, while we are searching for that better model, we miss out on what is right in front of us. We could have found the love of our life and we wouldn’t know because we are too scared to try.
Nothing but freedom
I walked up to my apartment door at the end of this long day, with hopes in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe there was something there waiting to make me smile. Nothing big, just something to show that he cares. My heart fell heavy and my brain said “I told you so”. I told myself I wouldn’t shed anymore tears over you. But I only shed two. One tear for knowing that our chance has past, and the other tear in disappointment that I fell for it again. I am stronger this time. I stopped after two tears, stood up straight and carried on about my night. In this life, you can only count on yourself. People will let you down every chance they get. You just have to learn to stop giving them chances. Hopefully today is the day that lesson finally sets in.
Each disappointment stings a little less. Expectations fall since the ones you set will never be met. You stop jumping to your phone when they call, and stop noticing when they don’t. Your effort to make them smile disappears into thin air. Something that once mattered, now seems so pointless.
Each disappointment dampers your love. For how do you love someone who doesn’t love in return?
Those three words
Filled with meaning and emotion
But easily falsified
They fall from your lips
and bring roses to my cheeks
The butterflies flutter at the thought
and my lips span ear to ear
Although the meaning not expressed
Words but scratch the surface
To convey a feeling with just words
is like money without gold
The legitimacy is unknown to most
Those three words
Two years ago today, I fell in love with you. I didn’t know what it meant and why it felt so different than past loves. I tried to fight it with my entire being but the feeling overwhelmed my soul. Two years ago, you changed how I see the world. Through happiness and adventure, I learned to let go of my pain and fear. This day doesn’t represent life becoming easier, but more challenging. Love is unpredictable, scary and some times painful. But the spontaneity that love shines through is what makes it so exciting. Some people run when this feeling overtakes their mind, body and soul, but I refuse to miss out on something that has the potential to be so beautiful. Two year ago, I fell in love with you, and I haven’t stopped since.