I have been in and out of hospitals more than most people ever see their primary care doctor. When I was born, my feet turned in and under. They call it Bilateral Club Feet. My first surgery was when I was 5 months old and I have had 5 other surgeries scattered throughout my life. It has always been my biggest challenge, but I have never stopped fighting it. I had to cut softball out of my life when I was a freshman in highschool. This was probably the most traumatic change that my feet have ever caused. Softball was my life, my outlet and my social life. All of this was whipped away by those things at the bottom of my legs that normal people don’t really even think about. I gained weight, struggled with depression and lost who I was.
Recently, after my mental break down and much needed recovery, my mother forced me to get a personal trainer. This sounded horrible to me. I felt ugly, lost and scared. The last thing I wanted to do was to be told what to do by some skinny ass white girl.
But damn did she change my life. I now enjoy working out, lost 30 lbs and am the strongest that I probably have ever been. Working out is so challenging in the beginning. You have no idea what you are doing and are so out of shape that you get discouraged. But I forced myself. I dreaded it most days in the beginning, but after I was finished, my mood and my energy was lifted and I felt my self esteem rising.
I had always ignored my mom when she told me that working out feels great and she loved it. I chalked it up to her being completely bat shit crazy. I hate to say it, but she was right. It completely helps my mental health and I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror now. Probably a little too much if I’m being completely honest. It even helped my love life. Guys love a confident woman. I walk around like nothing can tear me down because that’s how much I love myself. For some reason, guys think that’s super sexy.
I never expected working out and being physically fit to feel so good, but now I look forward to going to the gym. I even got a job at the gym I go to and am going to become a certified personal trainer! I want to help people find themselves and love who they are the way I found it through exercise. No one deserves to feel ugly in their own skin. No matter what disability you have or how little motivation you have, taking that first step will help you change the way you feel forever.