Memories of a Damaged Girl

When I was in highschool, I wrote poetry probably more than I actually completed my homework. My writing was the most private part of me. Majority of my work is gushing with pain and isn’t the most uplifting, so sharing them would be ineffective in promoting recovery. Although this particular one is inline with the racing thoughts that monopolized my mind last night and also shows how recovery is a process and you will feel the pain on different occasions. You just need to remember it is the past and the future hold more for you than just pain. Here is a poem that literally only three people have read. Love it or hate it, it’s who I am.

8/27/11

My head pounds

Bad thoughts reach my mind

Old memories take over

I’m no longer in control

A tear builds in my eye

The things I did

Unbearable to think of

The way I felt

Never want to repeat it

 

The salt water falls down my face

It quickly spreads on my pillow

Like butter on toast

The way secrets spread

The way hurt travels

Hearts ripped in two

No ones to be trusted

Not even you

The hatred boiling

Of yourself

And those people

The whisperers

The liars

The bullies

The traders

No one by your side

All alone in this

 

I wipe the tears

Remembering it’s just the past

Shake the haunting memories

Hoping it wont always last

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